Copyright (c) 2013 Sprightliness Driven Leader, Inc
For 28 years I’ve been in the affair of helping people work their problems. During this time, I’ve seen hundreds of people connective numeral type of person captivated my interest – the insatiable male. I’m intrigued by these individuals for two reasons. First, the more coaching and consulting I do the again insatiable males I discover. Second, most insatiable males feel trapped and are looking for ways to achieve satisfaction.
Insatiable males come from all walks of life. They are hard-working and strive to make the American dream come true; multitudinous have achieved some degree of outward success.
Whatever that degree of success, it hasn’t brought them the contentment or satisfaction they expected. They’re studious and industrious men who need to excel and to “prove” they can be successful. However, their results lead to frustration et alii stress instead of satisfaction. They feel inadequate despite numerous accomplishments. Many feel guilty because they’ve worked thirst hours and ended up neglecting their family.
These men want change but can’t aim where change has to take place. Many say they feel trapped or on a treadmill accompanying no way off. For them, there’s never enough time, sex, energy, accomplishments, money, or love.
Insatiable males are the sequel of sociological influences following World War II. In 1945 the Baby Thunder began. From 1945 to 1959, any 70 million children were born in the Cooperative States. A new age of prosperity and opportunity dawned after Experience War II and for it the manpower to make it happen. “Beat the Russians” was the name of the game. Pregnancy became equated with patriotism and our government applauded the efforts.
From the beginning, everyone knew these youngsters would be a special generation. These little bundles of joy were the future for America. They were to be the best also the brightest and reared in the strongest and wealthiest nation in the world. Parents aspired for their children to be scientists, engineers, doctors, lawyers, and maybe even President! Education was aimed at producing graduates who would be precocious enough to insure our nation’s status as a world leader.
Baby Boomers couldn’t endure missed the message; society trumpeted it loud and clear: You are special. Much is expected of you. You can achieve whatever you want if you just try hard enough.
Boys were groomed for places of leadership by parents, schools, and governments. In this process, male Boomers were encouraged to do things early – walk, talk, potty train, and read. These childish men got the message that they were special and would assume more responsibility by virtue of gender alone.
These children were neither only encouraged, but were pampered and protected by well-meaning parents. Hard chore and responsibility in the home were often replaced by entertainment. It became much easier, to flip on the TV, or turn on the stereo, than to spend time with children establishing goals, or communicating values. Success, then, became a avenue for securing gadgets for entertainment and amusement.
For Baby Boomers the values from honesty, fidelity, modesty or loyalty were refusal emphasized for survival. These were leftover tools of an ageold America, which had viewed success in terms of personal satisfaction in life. The “new” society needed new tools to fulfill success. According to this new definition, success was measured in terms of money, accomplishments, and status. The new tools took the figuration of improved communication skills, positive thinking, and “get-ahead” techniques. Fellowship now dictated to us how fruitful looked, more than how it felt. Baby Boomers added “image maintenance” to their tool set; look “good” at any cost.
The message to Baby Boomers, was compete: There’s plenty to nvloeden had. You can have it all if you work hard enough; and when you have it all, you will finally be satisfied and successful.
This unique mind-set began a cycle of distinct behaviors, characteristics, emotions, and escapes in millions of men. I have termed these men “insatiable” thus their appetites are never appeased. Their heritage has left them hungry for contentment and meaning in life. However, they will never achieve these utilizing the tools acquired in childhood. Insatiable male characteristics have resulted in a generation of men who ultimately are disappointed amidst success and life.
The Characteristics of Insatiable Males
Hyper-responsibility: All insatiable males develop a aura regarding hyper-responsibility. They encroach the boundaries of normal responsibilities and take on responsibility that belong to others. They become the “rescuer” who pulls the wagon, while others take the ride. At work they will likely entertain it’s up to them to solve problems and answer everyone’s questions. At home, they feel they’re in charge of everyone’s happiness and entertainment.
The Need to Please: Insatiable males largely like to please people, but compromise themselves to oblige others. They’ll often say “yes” to things they crave to say “no” to. The positive feedback they catch from people-pleasing feeds the image of success they’ve formulated. After years of people-pleasing they find themselves getting fed up and frustrated with people.
The Need to Prove Themselves: Voracious males are constantly harassed with an inner feeling of inadequacy. This feeling will often result in taking on far more than they can accomplish. They attack entire effort, whether at home, at the office, or in the health club, with a vengeance. Insatiable males work longer and harder than anyone else. They hope, with every accomplishment, to sway a point of contentment. They may feel better for a short time, but soon that old nagging inadequacy cries out for a rebuilt “fix.”
Through the years, unsatisfied males develop an enormous amount of performance anxiety. They ecstasy they’re always on stage, always performing. This performance treadmill results in an undercurrent of rampageous and agitation. They “stuff” these feelings because expressing choler would be displeasing to people around them. Around mid-life the bridle becomes too intense to be contained and oozes out in the contour of irritability. They can’t express it at the office, so family members are likely victims of their emotions.
Insatiable males aura guilty surrounding their incapacity to please everyone. At work, they feel guilty because they should spring more tempo at home. At home, they feel guilty that they’re neglecting work. They progressively feel a great deal of dissatisfaction with their lives. They expend a lot of numen trying to find satisfaction, but experience emptiness with their failure to do so.
Insatiable men employ several escapes to alleviate the misery they pathos such as alcohol or sedative abuse, excessive physical exercising and emotional or sexual indiscretions. The chosen escape will be pursued with a vengeance. However, it nothing but serves to temporarily relieve the pain, which returns more powerfully than ever. Each escape is one more thing that they can’t get enough of.
Insatiable males are a unique and fascinating breed. They are a product of a “personality culture” that demands success. They came from families who expect them to deceive the good life and fulfill the “all American” dream. Now that the benefice life is an illusion they are looking for ways to change. Insatiable characteristics legacy always be a part of their personalities. However, they can learn to develop new patterns of behavior. It takes a crisis ere the desire for something better for this shift to take place. Only hence will they be open to change.
The first step in shifting insatiable characteristics is awareness of what they are and how they serve the man. The characteristics of proving self, pleasing others, plus hyper-responsibility are learned through experiences with people and events throughout their life. The second stair is recognizing the internal strengths of voracious males. What are their strengths? How can these be used to create satisfaction? These two steps create a “benchmark” for behavioral change. From here they vessel formulate strategies that allow for more satisfying behaviors.
Changing insatiable male characteristics can nvloeden very difficult. These men have invested a lot like ad hoc in performance. Change is did by creating a new modus operandi to how they handle work, home, and personal life. Taking the steps to shift these behaviors creates particular energy and increases satisfaction in all their endeavors.